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*[[Legendary Pokémon]], a list of all Legendary Pokémon.
*[[Legendary Pokémon]], a list of all Legendary Pokémon.
*[[Mythical Pokémon]], a list of Mythical Pokémon
*[[Mythical Pokémon]], a list of Mythical Pokémon
==Pokemon or Pokémon?==
Pokémon is the 'correct' spelling, but NOBODY HAS AN É (E with an accent) KEY ON THEIR KEYBOARD. Most people resort to writing pokemon, but this is in fact racist, because incorrectly spelling made up foreign words is more racist than making a creature with blackface and keeping it trapped in a Poké Ball.
For instructions on how to write Pokémon correctly, see The Other Wiki:
Contrariwise, you can simply refer to it as Pokuman or Pokumans, which will enrage yer average Generation Barney reject into spastic fits of epic pants shitting rage, much to the entertainment and delight of everyone else.
==Video games==
Note that, although [[Nintendo]] [[conspiracy|claims]] to sell several versions of each game, each game adds better graphics, the old main character is [[murder|killed off]] and replaced, and new [[animals|Pokémon]] and attacks are [[nakedgirlparts|unveiled]], but never actually evolves the gameplay or plot in the slightest. This cycle would repeat several times over in subsequent games, and it is all a [[capitalism|ploy]] to sell more cartridges, link cables, and wireless adapters. As a result, [[Fact|Pokémon gets worse and worse with each new game released]].
===[[Old meme|Red, Blue]] and [[Azn|Yellow]]===
The original games are [[Bullshit|actually pretty good]]. That is, if you like [[shit|shitty]] [[graphics]] and extreme [[virus|glitchiness]]. It was created by an [[otaku]] who enjoyed collecting [[STD|bugs]]. The true object of the game is to [[BDSM|enslave]] the in-game creatures found in grass, caves and water called "Pokémon", then raise them by making them kill other Pokémon. Once you have enough [[power level]], you can then use them to buttfuck 8 gym leaders for special badges to increase your stats when your Pokémon levels up and the ability to use a HM move needed to advance to the next stage, and eventually to defeat the Elite Four, four Pokénerds with the strongest Pokémans in the game. Doing so allows access to Cerulean Cave, a cave where Mewtwo, the ultimate Pokégod of the game, resides. Team Rocket appears a few times throughout the game to hinder your progress: first digging for Fossils in Mt Moon, then in Celadon conspiring to take over the world by killing Cubone's mother (which subsequent Pokédex entries never shut the fuck up about), and finally taking over Silph Co where they try to tie the chairman up and forcing him to give them his [[Balls|Master Balls]].
As a side quest no-one cares about, you can also catch all 150 Pokémon in the game. 151 if you include Mew. To do that, you can [[hax|use cheats]] or you can be really boring and actually ''own'' all three games in the series, and trade for Pokémans you can't get in that particular game, the selling point for the Pokémon franchise and one which would continue to be used in future games over a decade later. In Pokémon also exists PokéGods among PokéPeasents, like [[Zapatero|Zapdos]] and [[Mewtwo]], which are much stronger than regular Pokémon because they've been [[Digimon|Digivolved]] to the final level. When you encounter one and you defeat it, it dies. Never to return.
In Pokémon Yellow, you start out with a Pikachu you can't evolve, which was fucking useless if it didn't know Surf and even then that's only to play a shitty "Surfing Pikachu" minigame. Pikachu can't be encountered in the wild and if you try to catch more than one through cheat or trading, the game fucks around thinking both are the Pikachu you started with, so you can't release or evolve either of them. Jessie and James appears in place of generic Rocket Grunts along with Ekans, Koffing and Meowth, because Yellow was following the anime at the time.
Your [[Gary Oak|rival]] starts out with an Eevee instead of your Pokémon's weakness, which he evolves depending on how many times you [[win]] or [[Fail|lose]] against him. You can also obtain all three of the games' starters from random NPCs just after getting your third badge. Otherwise, Yellow is exactly the same as Red and Blue with improved artwork, but the backsprites still look as shit as ever.
Fun fact: In Red and Blue, there was a [[HAX|secret cheat]] you could get to catch a character called [[Candlejack|"MissingNo."]], a [[doing it wrong|glitch]] in the gameplay, allowing you to clone the sixth items in your inventory and encounter Pokémon with max [[over 9000|power levels]], depending on what you called your character. Doing this eventually fucks up your game save, but not until you [[divide by 0]]. If you use your Nintendo Game Boy connect cable to trade these glitch Pokémon with your [[BFF|best friend]], it will appear as a regular Pokémon, but be deemed [[retard|"abnormal"]].
===[[Jew Gold|Gold, Silver]] and Crystal===
Quite literally exact copies of the original games, only it takes place 2 years after the events of Red, Blue and Yellow and the trio of games is listed under the "second generation". Like the original games, you're a 10 year old [[Shota|boy]] or [[Loli|girl]] located in another location called "Johto", with pretty much the same plot as the last generation, only now you get a radio which only plays one song on each station, you can set the in-game clock which turns the sun on and off like a light switch at certain times, [[troll|people can phone you about how they failed to catch a Rattata]] or [[Success|give you free shit]], and the original games' map is now called "Kanto". Team Rocket makes a reappearance, still butthurt that a 10 ear old boy named Red, the main character from the last game, defeated Giovanni, a Master Criminal with an entire army of Pokémon and underlings at his disposal. So the faggot went into hiding to be [[An Hero]] for 2 years, thus they take over the Radio Tower to try and contact him. But are all [[buttsecks|buttfucked]] by Gold/Kris, the new main characters, and then [[Caveatipse|run away]]. One of the main objectives of the game is to defeat the Elite Four, again, who are ''[[LOLWUT|much weaker]]'' than they were "2 years ago". To us, that's "in the last games". But after doing so, you can re-visit Kanto and take on Kanto's gym leaders again. Your true main objective at this point is to find and defeat Red from the first game whose Pokémon are [[Call of Duty: Black Ops|overpowered]]. Then [[Winrar|a Winrar is you]].
The second generation features [[MS Paint|rearranged cities]], the [[Lie|infamous Misty skinny-dipping cut scene]], and a bunch of new Pokémon such as [[Troll|Pikablu]], [[Abortion|Togepi]], [[Orly|Hoothoot]] and [[moar]] PokéGods like [[ho|Ho-oh]] and [[Martini-chan|Suicune]], racking the Pokémon count up to  251. These games also introduced the concept of Pokémon [[secks|breeding]] and genders, which makes all of the Pokémon-on-Pokémon [[Rule 34]] ever conceived technically [[canon]], Day and Night, a feature which wouldn't be seen again until Generation IV, and a badarse rival who hated Team Rocket because his dad was defeated by a 10 year old boy.
Crystal introduced the concept of a [[No girls on the internet|Female character]], [[HA HA HA, OH WOW|Animated sprites]], [[Nigger|Suicune]] [[bestiality|takes a liking to the player and has a bigger role in the game]] [[stalker|so follows him/her around]] and introduces a new character called [[batshit insane|Eusine]] who wants Suicune to suck his dick, and eventually tells the player to also catch Raikou and Entei so you can catch Ho-oh for some reason.
Fun fact: The Breeding Center on these games is on [[I See What You Did There|Route 34]]. Oh [[Japan]]~!
===[[Global Warming|Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald]]===
The next games in the series came out for the [[Game Boy Advance]] and took place in an entirely new location called "Hoenn". Once again the plot was exactly the same and with new Pokégods to unlock by learning [[Katawa Shoujo|Braille]]. There was only one clock in the entire game and that was in your character's and rival's room, but there was no Day and Night and you could only catch 200 Pokémon in the entire region and couldn't trade with earlier games, which caused butthurt rage among oldfags. The games introduced 135 new Pokémon, racking the Pokémon count up to 386. The only positive aspect of these games was the introduction of [[Mudkips]], but unfortunately this is the same generation that also introduced [[Gardevoir]].
Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald have the exact same plot as previous games, where you buttfuck [[Whore|Gym leaders]] for their [[STI|badges]] to take on the Elite Four. Because the games are in a new location, it also naturally features new villains, [[Aqua Teen Hunger Force|Team Aqua]] and [[Smegma|Team Magma]], both who think [[global warming]] is a good thing and try to wake up one of two Poké-gods (who apparently helped shape the Earth and the Sea or some shit) to cover the entire world in either Landmass by drying up the world's water or covering it in an ocean by making it rain constantly. 
In Ruby, Team Magma wakes up Groudon who looks like a red Dinosaur, who turns against them and disappears and causes a drought. In Sapphire, Team Aqua wakes up Kyogre who looks like a whale cross-bred with a monkfish, who disappears and causes a rainstorm. Naturally, the 10-year old player is prompted to take on the ancient, angry and dangerous Pokémon themselves in a dark cave without any assistance whatsoever. In Emerald, both teams wake up both of them, Kyogre in the Underground Cavern and Groudon in a Volcano. As you'd expect, the beasts turn against whoever wakes them up and endangers all of Hoenn as we know it by [[facepalm|fucking up the weather]]. Their "master" is a green flying serpant thing called Rayquaza, which flies around and doesn't do anything constructive until the player-character tells it to get a move on. In Ruby and Sapphire, Rayquaza has nothing to do with the main game, but is instead available after defeating the Elite Four.
The games introduced the concept of [[Useless|"abilities"]], which [[never|usually]] aided the Pokémon in battle. Using the HM move Dive let you dived underwater on certain water tiles [[bullshit|without the need for resurfacing or any special equipment]], Pokémon contests which could be easily won by finding out which moves give the best combinations and stuffing your Pokémon with the best Pokéblocks, which can be made by processing Berries which you've picked after you've grown them. Secret Bases, a useless feature in the game where you could teach a move called Secret Power to your Pokémon and use it to make a Secret Base. You can decorate it with useless shit (the idea was to share details with your friends and find their Secret Bases, then have a battle with the NPC in the base and it'll have their Pokémon that they had at the time) and finally, weather. Although mostly just rain and sandstorms.
Fun fact: Own the game for a year and the clock dies. When it dies, you can't grow Berries or receive any from NPCs. HOORAY FOR SHIT QUALITY!
===[[Copypasta|FireRed and LeafGreen]]===
Basically Pokémon Red and Blue comitting [[samefag]]gotry. These games are the same thing as the [[90s]] originals, but with Ruby, Sapphire and Emerald graphics, some new islands full of [[Muslims]] and [[Lame|traded Pokémon which aren't in the original 151 can't evolve until you defeat the Elite Four]]. The Easter Egg truck is back aswell but you need [[Hax|Noclip]] to get there and [ all you get is a fucking Lava Cookie].
===[[Jewelry|Diamond, Pearl]] and Platinum===
These later sequels in the Pokémon franchise add connectability with [[teh]] [[internet]]s, so you can trade your Mewtwo for a [[crap|Magikrap]] from around the world[[oneoneone|!1!!]] You can also download Ash+Gary [[yaoi]] straight to your [[Nintendo DS]]. Just be sure to carry a strong anti-virus Pokémon in your party at all times, or you risk being [[pwnt]] by a wild virus Pokémon encountered on the tubes. 
They also feature [[Cynthia]] as the whiny emo bitch Pokémon League Champion, her existence the result of mass [[controversy]] and [[butthurt]] amongst [[Nintendo]]. She is an avid fan of trolling by using her favourite Pokemanz, Trollchomp, which can easily troll unsuspecting Empoleon by using Earthquake and Brick Break - LAWLZ IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!1
===[[Nostalgia|HeartGold and SoulSilver]]===
[[Last Thursday]], after many rumors were circulated on the tubes, Nintendo confirmed that there would indeed be remakes of the [[shit|hit]] games [[Gold|Gold and Silver]] for the [[DS]]. The games have features such as [[stalker|letting any of your Pokémon follow you around]], a [[Goatse|wide variety]] of Generation II Pokémon, and [[Sonic the Hedgehog|pseudo-3D graphics]]. Basically, the new games are just a giant clusterfuck of [[fail]] produced from merging half of the old games together and adding [[shit nobody cares about|useless features]] like the [[Olympics|Pokeathlon]], [[Plastic Crap|Pokewalker]] and the [[nobody cares|Spiky eared Pichu]], but as soon as this piece of news was released on the internet, [[nostalgia]]fags everywhere creamed their pants. The only thing of relevance to come out of these games is the scene where the rival [[rape]]s you in Goldenrod City and leaves what's left of your semen-filled anus for Team Rocket.
===[[Nigger|Black]] and [[Cracker|White]]===
The latest Pokémonz game was released in the U.S. during [[2012|the apocalypse]]. It is the first one [[bullshit|with real 3-D graphics]] and the Pokémon professor, [[whore|Professor Juniper]] is an [[cougar|older woman]] who will attempt to [[rape]] you once you complete the whole fucking Pokédex, which means that you have to catch all 649 Pokémon in order for her to accomplish this.
You travel across the [[New York|Unova]] region, [[Jewnited States of Americunts|far away]] from [[Japan|the other Pokemon regions]]. This time, rather than playing as some [[Loli|snot-nosed 10-year old]], you begin the game as either a [[16-year-old girls|bratty teenage bitch]] named [ Hilda] or as an [[unoriginal|older version of Ash]] named [[Dilbert|Hilbert]]. When you pick your starter, you can choose a [[bacon and eggs|fire pig]], [[Smugleaf]], or a [[WTF|baby clown]]. [[Copypasta|However, you still go through the same shit as the other games, AGAIN.]] You now have two rivals, a [[Retard|ditzy blonde bimbo]] named Bianca and a poker-faced [[Azn|azn]] named Cheren. It is your responsibility to [[pwn|defeat]] [[PETA|Team Plasma]], [[PETA|whose goal is to free all pokemon from the world]]. Some [[Anime|green haired]] [[faggot]] [[Batshit Insane|that claims to hear pokeyman's voices]] [[GTFO|bugs the shit out of you]] throughout the game, who also claims to be the "King" of Team Plasma, revives [[FYIAD| Reshiram's]]/[[FYIAD| Zekrom]] and readies their mighty dick of doom to [[Guro|brutally]] [[rape]] your puny asshole/[[vagoo|vagina]] while [[Goatse|stretching it out and widening it]].
... oh, and some of the new gym leaders ([[Sheneequa|Lenora]], [[Fuck you, I'm a dragon|Drayden]], and [[Starlaglam|Iris]]) and one of the Elite Four Members, [[Mike Tyson|Marshall]], are all a bunch of [[niggers]]. These niggers were added to the Pokemon games possibly because niggers bawwwed and complained to Nintendo that it was racist that there are no black people on the Internet. Plus, [[DO NOT WANT|new Pokémon]] are introduced, like some [[Zoroark|dark type anthro-weasel-fox thing]] for [[sick fuck]]s to pair with [[Lucario]] and Weavile in their twisted, horrendous sex art.
===[[Nigger|Black]] and [[Cracker|White]] [[Sequel|2]]===
Shortly after the release of Black and White, it was announced that [[Nintendo]] and Game Freak had run out of [[color|colors]] for use in the titles of their Pokémon games and rather than calling the games Pokémon [[Spic]] and Pokémon [[Korea|Filthy Korean Pig]], would just be calling the next generation of games Pokémon Black and White 2.
Because [[Bidoof|nobody likes the new Pokémon]], however, the game will feature three hundred of the old Pokémon, as well as the shitty new ones. Other than that, because Pokéfags are too dumb to know any better, the games will be pretty much exactly the same as the previous games in the series, but set ''[[I see what you did there|two years later]]''.
===[[x/|X]] and [[Why|Y]]===
[[Last Thursday]], Nintendo unveiled the newest Pokémon games, Pokémon [[Women|X]] and Pokémon [[Men|Y]] which would apparently be set in [[France]] and allow you to play as either a [[bimbo|blonde girl]] or as popular Internet video game reviewer and animator, [[Game Grumps|Egoraptor]]. The starters are [[Meatspin|Chespin]], a [[Flower|weird meerkat]] thing [[retard|wearing a helmet]] [[forever alone|that nobody wants]], [[Furfag|Fennekin]], some furbait Vulpix rehash that will no doubt soon be starring in a fuckton of disgusting furry [[pr0n]] and [[Kermit|Froakie]], a frog wearing glasses stolen off of Morpheus from ''[[The Matrix]]''. Two faggy legendaries and a new furry evolution for [[fox|Eevee]] were also revealed, but nobody gives a fuck about them. 
One day later even [[MOAR]] POKEMANZ WERE REVEALED including a [[panda|omfg a panda pokamawn finally]], another [[Robin|bird]] (how shocking), a goat called Gogoat that's already become a [[forced meme|funneh meme]], and a ripoff of [[Loli|Mawile]].
This new version will be available only on the Nintendo 3DS and will be the first to ditch the usual 2D graphics typical of the series, because Nintendo have suddenly realized that they've got an entire fucking warehouse full of unsold 3DSes that they need to desperately shift. This also caused a massive amount of butthurt among the manchildren on /[[vp]]/, because it meant that they'd have to cash in their government issued welfare checks to buy a new system to play the game on.
===Other [[Bullshit]] Games===
Never let it be said Pokémon games were ''entirely'' without variety. The franchise spawned a sizable menagerie of miscellaneous bullshit, mostly games with some generic engine and a Pokémon veneer with which to fag up your DS or [[Nintendo|N64]]. As a result, most of these are horrible and should never be played, EVAR.
*'''Pokémon [[Camwhore|Snap]]''' - You're a Pokémon [[porn]] photographer, and the [[power level|level]] of [[hentai|perversity]] just keeps increasing until you finally end up getting raped on the moon. There was no sequel, to the [[furfag]]s' sorrow.
*'''Pokémon [[Old media|Pinball]]''' - Pinball! With a Pokémon theme! At least you didn't have to [[RAGE|buy it twice to complete the fucking thing]].
*'''Pokémon [[Handegg|Stadium]]''' - All [[Roman Empire|gladiatorial]] [[buttsecks|battling]], no other gameplay included. Useful for getting starters, extra Eevees, and Mew for your copy of Red/Blue, though, as it could [[Hipster|hook up]] via the controller.
*'''Pokémon [[Josef Fritzl|Mystery Dungeon]] Red and Blue Rescue Team''' - The first of the Mystery Dungeon series involving ''all'' Pokémans up to Generation III and became a [[Guro|popular Jap genre]], notable for its [[Truth|comparatively intricate storylines]], gameplay [[Otherkin|as a Pokémon]] rather than as a human trainer, and its ability to have dungeons that are simultaneously never the same twice ''and'' repetitive as fuck. This game is held responsible for at least 12% of Pokémon-related suicides because everyone who completes the game always cries [[manly tears]] at the end. 
The other 88% of suicides stem from the music at [ Lavender] [ Town] in Red/Blue.
*'''Pokémon Mystery Dungeon Explorers of Time, Darkness and Sky''' - The second of the Mystery Dungeon series involving nearly all Pokémans up to generation IV, and was a little less shit than the last Mystery Dungeon game, because there's more characters, [[Shit_nobody_cares_about|they ''all'' have chatheads]], there's more characters who all want to get you into bed and after you complet the main game there's still a fuckton to do, story-wise. But, the gameplay hasn't been expanded in the slightest and is essentially ''the exact same'' but with moar Pokémon, more traps to piss you off and it's still repetitive as fuck. True to the Pokémon games, the third game varies the plot slightly by adding '''[[EXTREME ADVERTISING|UNLOCKABLE SIDE STORIES INVOLVING ALL THE OTHER POKÉMON IN THE GAME!!!!!]]"
*'''Pokémon [[Power Rangers|Ranger]]''' - A retarded showcase game for the DS's stylus/touchscreen hardware with Pokémon shit glommed onto it at the last minute. You capture Pokémon by [[Tracing|drawing circles around them]] and then can only [[Pooper|use them]] once before you have to let them go again. Truly an exercise in [[Borg|futility]].
*'''Pokémon [[Tetris|Trozei!]]''' - Lame ripoff of ''Yoshi's Cookie''. The only reason why [[You|you]] bought this is because [[Poor|you didn't have enough money]] for the [[New media|latest set of games]] and bought this piece of [[Shit|shit]] [[Typical|because it had "pokemon" on it.]]
*'''Pokémon [[Magic|Trading Card Game]]''' - Spinoff from the original Red Blue and Yellow games and is essentially the exact same, but with Pokémon cards. You can't explore anywhere, all the places you ''can'' visit look the same, and once you have Articuno you can buttfuck almost everyone on the game. Despite the game being absolute shit, it does teach you how to play the Card game properly, and it proves that simply owning a Charizard doesn't instantly mean you win.
*'''[[Super Smash Brothers]]''' - Although not Pokémon games in the strict sense, this series does include a couple of the more commonly-known [[Lucario|tiresome]] [[Pikachu|little]] [[Jigglypuff|fuckers]] as playable characters, and also has stages and [[Mario|power-up]]s Pokéfags will [[I came|readily recognize]].
==The Anime==[[Image:Ashmaid.png|thumb|left|Professor Oak learned Ash's [[gay|secret]].]][[Image:Its-a-trap.gif|thumb|right|What? You thought they couldn't out-gay the maid?]]The Pokémon cartoon tells the story of [[hermaphrodite]] Ash Ketchum, whose hollow life is devoted entirely to Pokémon [[fanboy]]ism. Therefore, he teams up with his best buddy and [[life partner|partner]], the electrified [[rat]] [[Pikachu]], and sets out to [[obsessive-compulsive disorder|catch 'em all]]. Ash is soon accompanied by Misty O'IttyBittyTitties, former [[16-year-old girl|underage]] [[fetish]] model. He is also joined by [[What is Brock?|Brock]] Statue Tory, all around [[pervert|horn dog]] and charter member of the [[cunt|Nurse Joy]] appreciation club. A running joke involves Brock [[cum]]ming in his pants whenever he sees anything with [[tits|breasts]], which happens with [[Over 9000|amazing frequency]] considering his [[Azn|eyes are permanently closed]]. However, the reason behind Brock's weird-ass behavior is his [[homosexuality]]. This is the only explanation why he has never had a [[girlfriend]], and why he loves to [[Cock|cook]]. As the rest of the gang are major [[homophobic|gay-bashers]], he hides this with his [[Not gay|girl "obsession."]]  Ash is chased around the world by Team Rocket members [[lesbian|Jessie]], [[homo|James]], and their annoying retarded [[cat]]. They supply [[At least 100|95]]% of this show's [[lulz]] in the form of [[fail|endless]] attempts to steal Pikachu so that their boss would [[GG|appreciate them]] again, not that he did anyway. They are also the subject of many [[flame wars|shipping wars]] among Poké[[fans]] who are just too [[dumb]] to realize James is [[gay]]. [[Image:1371831529308.gif|thumb|right|Pokemon do not like [[you]], it's a [[fact]].]] Misty later leaves the show after getting [[pregnant|knocked up]] and is promptly replaced by May, a [[jailbait]] [[whore]] with breasts that more than make up for Misty's lack thereof. May brings along her brother Max, an [[incest]]uous [[Shotacon|little]] [[fuckface]], who seems to [[Mega ultra super genius|know more about Pokémon than Ash]]. In order to boost ratings, Dawn is then introduced to the show, and considering that she's 10 years old, she is an even bigger [[whore]] than the other girls, (if possible), mainly due to her [[pantyshot|extremely short skirt]]. Having the [[Lolicon|smallest chest]], she is clearly [[fanservice]] for [[pedophile]]s, [[amirite]]? [[Some argue]] the entire series is merely Ash's coma-induced [[dream]], revealing such elements of his subconscious as his [[Freud|repressed sexual feelings]] and [[Goofy Time|poor relationship with his father]], which is most likely true if he runs away from home to serch for da weird tings known as Pokemans. [[E-Psychiatrist|These people]] need to find [[Masturbation|something better to do]] than [[Animu archetypes|psychoanalyzing]] [[Redundant|bad anime]].  

Revision as of 00:36, August 3, 2013

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